It’s nearly May and the swifts are on their way. Time to meet a world-renowned swift expert, necessitating a trip to London.

With Edward Mayer, swift obsessing has taken on a new dimension. (This swifter wears swift-themed clothing.)

Things clarify. The swifts are in peril because they’ve nowhere to live: we’ve blocked up all the nooks and crannies in our houses.

But the solution is simple. Super-cheap nesting boxes can make perfect homes! Q.E.D. So, there is no problem, right? Wrong. Numbers are in steep decline.

Edward tells it the way it is: